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How To Raise A Good Kid


How To Raise A Good Kid is a collection of 23 funny and heartwarming stories about childhood that teach lessons about core values such as faith, honesty, courage, hard work, perseverance and love.

These stories are guaranteed to make you laugh and can be enjoyed by adults and children alike.

Each one is authentic, universal in theme and perfectly suited to serve as a conversation starter for parents trying to instill in their kids the importance of integrity and character and for purposes of discussing important topics such as bullying, prejudice, first love and many others.

How To Raise A Good Kid is a highly entertaining and meaningful book, and one you will return to again and again.


Goliath Gets Up


What Makes Someone Great?

For David Horvath, life hasn't turned out exactly as planned. At 39, he's single, unemployed and living with his grandmother, Beatie, in Rochester, New York. Although most of his days are spent drinking at a downtown bar with a group of fellow outcasts, he still clings tightly to the belief that he will achieve greatness, just as his late mother predicted. The problem is he can't figure out how.

David doesn't realize it, but when Beatie tells him she's ready to die and wants his help, it's a blessing in disguise. For this request inspires David to try to change Beatie's mind by bringing the Academy Awards to Rochester; and puts in motion a plan to revive her spirits, his city and the lives of all those who live there. Along the way, he battles self-doubt, loneliness and Cornelia Candee, Rochester's evil mayor, who tries to steal his idea about the Oscars and use it as a way to turn the city's historic High Falls into a waterslide park.

Acknowledging the inevitable gap between our dreams and the reality of our lives, Goliath Gets Up examines the journey we take trying to bridge that gap and make a difference in the world.  What makes someone great? Come along with David and find out.

Red Meat Cures Cancer

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Soft Cover - Red Meat Cures Cancerby Starbuck O'Dwyer

Hard Cover - Red Meat Cures Cancer by Starbuck O'Dwyer
Order Red Meat Cures Cancer by Starbuck O'Dwyer

Sky Thorne, 48-year old Senior V.P. of fast food renegade, Tailburger, has problems. According to his tyrannical boss, Frank Fanoflincoln, a.k.a. "the Link," if Sky doesn't get the company's market share up to five percent by the end the year, he's going to lose his job and with it, any chance of collecting the pension he's months away from earning. To make matters worse, the new, can't miss Torture Me marketing campaign that Sky is counting on to spur sales is failing miserably, forcing Sky to consider the less savory option of using his best friend's pornography empire to hawk Tailburger's fried meat over the internet. Besides slumping sales, Sky's battling the rabid lobbying organization S.E.R.M.O.N. (Stop Eating Red Meat Now), a politically-motivated New York Attorney General and a dysfunctional board of directors featuring the Link's golf-obsessed triplets Ned, Ted and Fred. If all this wasn't enough, Sky's older brother, King, after stints as a rebel with Colombia's F.A.R.C. and a steward with Royal Caribbean Cruise Lines, has moved in to Sky's house and begun preaching the far eastern philosophy of Qigong, assuring Sky that the path to personal happiness lies in channeling his "chee" through his eight ancient meridians. All Sky really wants is a good woman, inner peace and enough money to maintain both, but it won't be easy.

For further information about Red Meat Cures Cancer, visit the Vintage Books website.


High School Dance


Welcome to High School Dance, the sequel to How to Raise a Good Kid. I’m glad you’re here. This book is the culmination of a project that began shortly after my wife and I welcomed our son to the world. Like most first-time fathers, I felt a new and profound sense of responsibility and immediately became determined to pass along every lesson I believed was important. So even though my pride and joy was only drooling, pooping and sleeping at this point, and was years away from absorbing his dad’s hard-earned wisdom, I refused to let any of those pesky details get in my way.

First, I made a list of the events of my childhood that taught me the most, the ones that made the biggest impressions, both good and bad. This exercise forced me to revisit many harrowing experiences such as batting zero in little league baseball, my chronic addiction to a blanket, my disastrously unsuccessful try-out for the role of Winthrop in The Music Man, and the time I mooned the entire sixth grade. I wanted to let my son know whatever hardship he might face; his father had already been there, learned something of value and survived. I also wanted to let him know about all the fun and joy I experienced as a child and the love my parents showed me.

After compiling my list, however, I realized it wasn’t going to be enough. What if, God forbid, I wasn’t around to tell him the full story behind each enumerated item? I couldn’t bear the thought so I decided to turn the list into a book of stories about my childhood. Over time, the project evolved into two books: one about my grade school years, How to Raise a Good Kid, and one about my junior and senior high school years, High School Dance.

I truly hope you enjoy these collections. Few times in life are more memorable than our school years. Humiliation, heartbreak and failure are abundant, and that’s on a good day. No matter who you are, coming of age is exciting, confusing and sometimes downright dangerous, and I’ve tried to capture both the agony and the ecstasy. My wife and I were fortunate enough to add a daughter to our family in the intervening years and my great hope is that she and her brother will someday read these stories, learn a few lessons, come to know their father even better, and above all, remember how much I love them.

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From the San Francisco Chronicle:
"A first-rate comic effort, "Red Meat" will have you laughing cover to cover."

From Publishers Weekly:
"There are some undeniable gutbusters....Sheer chutzpah!"

From Terry Hummel, Former Publisher, Rolling Stone Magazine:
"Red Meat Cures Cancer is a wildly irreverent and wickedly funny romp through the lunatic fringe of American pop culture and the fast food industry. Demonstrating a style as cool as Elmore Leonard's and a mind as outrageous as Carl Hiaasen's, O'Dwyer mines his own comic gold and establishes himself as a writer to watch. You will not be disappointed!"

From the Knoxville News-Sentinel:
"Order up: one funny novel satirizing American pop culture by way of the fast-food industry....Fast-food lawsuits, new-age spiritualism, food safety and animal rights activists, the 'sex sells' mentality, corporate America and the changing definition of 'success' - O'Dwyer tackles them all in a delightfully twisted manner....It's a real deal."

From the Cleveland Plain Dealer:
"This irreverent debut novel pokes fun at fast food, politics, Internet pornography, Caribbean cruising and anything that's triple fried."

From the Boston Globe:
"A world gone its a diabetic B.B. King shilling Burger King."

From Seattle Weekly:

From Flaunt Magazine:
"Entertaining....[with a] strangely sad though sweepingly ascendant climax."

From Java Magazine:
"Hilarious and recommended."

From Boston's Weekly Dig:
"The book is first rate. O'Dwyer knows the ground he's writing on, and the dialogue is at times brilliant. One of the better books of the year."

From Kirkus Reviews:
"A meaty, bloody slab o' satire. Schuyler ("Sky") Thorne is one of the big muckety-mucks at Tailburger, a chain of hamburger joints that gives health nuts triple coronaries just thinking about them. Their main product, "four batter-dipped, deep-fried patties of red meat and a bun, held together by five generous dollops of Cajun-style mayonnaise," holds a decent but unremarkable slice of America's drive-through burger business and it's up to Sky to bring the company around with a blistering new ad campaign. Badgered by Tailburger founder Frank Fanoflincoln (he changed his last name after becoming a Civil War buff), Sky decides to stop pretending that Tailburgers (and the ever-popular meat-flavored shake the Tailfrap) are good for people and dreams up the "Torture Your Body" idea. Things look pretty good for Sky at first. He signs up Lakers lummox Jelloteous Junderstack as spokesman and talks film auteur Ship Plankton into inserting Tailburger into the plot of his new movie, Dongwood. Things take a turn for the worse, however, when Jello's health hits a few cholesterol-fueled snags, Dongwood reveals itself to be a massive flop, and the rabid lobbying group and challenged spellers SERMON ("Stop Eating Red Meat Now") files a class-action lawsuit against Tailburger. In the middle of it all, Sky gets involved with Muffet Meaney, SERMON's zealous but libidinous leader. To prevent Tailburger from completely bottoming out, Sky approaches his friend Cal Perkins, who, unbeknownst to most everyone but Sky, has made his millions in adult entertainment (everyone else thinks he runs a wholesome jam business). Thus is born the "Nail Some Tail Sweepstakes." O'Dwyer, a healthcare-industry lawyer, knows that subtlety is not the way to play this and so paints Red Meat Cures Cancer with broad, primary strokes burnished with a healthy dose of ribaldry. Like Christopher Buckley without the subtlety, O'Dwyer's first vaults over any ideas of good taste into a realm of deep-fried comic genius."

From the Tennessean (Nashville):
"A rip-roaring spoof of the fast food industry and a withering satire of pork barrel politics, corruption, nepotism, toadyism, bribery, and blackmail, Red Meat Cures Cancer is a veritable primer of political incorrectness. Raunchy, risque, and ribald, this ribbing of American pop culture is a comic romp - a hoot, a howl, a sidesplitting takeoff. If Starbuck O'Dwyer's novel doesn't make you laugh hysterically, you don't have a funny bone in your body."

From the Canadian Press (newswire service):
"An outrageously funny satire!"

From the Contra Costa Times:

"O'Dwyer deftly walks the fine line between archetype and stereotype, delicately balancing an outrageous cast of familiar characters that might have come across as stale in lesser hands. RMCC is a double bacon burger with extra cheese: delicious and enough to satisfy."

From the Times-Picayune (New Orleans):
"Highly original."

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High School Dance named 2016 Foreword INDIES Book of the Year Awards Finalist
Green Chair Publishing is pleased to announce High School Dance by Starbuck O'Dwyer has been recognized as a finalist in the 19th annual Foreword INDIES Book of the Year Awards in the non-fiction humor category. As part of their mission to discover, review, and share the best books from small, university, and indie publishers, independent media company Foreword Reviews hosts its annual awards program each year. Finalists represent the best books published in 2016, and submitted to Foreword Reviews for award consideration, and were narrowed down by Foreword’s editors from over 2,200 individual titles spread across 65 categories. A complete list of finalists can be found at:

“Choosing finalists for the INDIES is always the highlight of our year, but the choice was more difficult this time around due to the high quality of submissions,” said Victoria Sutherland, publisher of Foreword Reviews. “Each new book award season proves again how independent publishers are the real innovators in the industry.”

INDIES finalists are moved on to final judging by an expert panel of librarians and booksellers curated specifically for each genre and who will determine the books who will be named Foreword INDIES Book of the Year Award winners. Winners in each genre—along with Editor’s Choice winners, and Foreword’s INDIE Publisher of the Year—will be announced during the 2017 American Library Association Annual Conference in Chicago on June 24, 2017.


High School Dance Named Gold Medalist in 2016 Global Ebook Awards
Green Chair Publishing s pleased to announce High School Dance by Starbuck O'Dwyer has been named the 2016 Global Ebook Awards gold medalist in the non-fiction humor category. The Global Ebook Awards were founded by legendary publishing executive Dan Poynter.


O'Dwyer Signs Publishing Deal with Fiberead for Chinese Rights
In September of 2014, Starbuck O'Dwyer entered into a publishing deal with Fberead to have his books Goliath Gets Up and How to Raise a Good Kid translated into simplified and traditional Chinese and made available to the China market.

How To Raise A Good Kid Named Finalist for 2012 Indie Reader Discovery Awards
Starbuck O'Dwyer's collection of stories about growing up, How to Raise a Good Kid, has been named one of two finalists in the parenting category for the 2012 Indie Reader Discovery Awards.

Goliath Gets Up Named Finalist for 2012 Indie Reader Discovery Awards
Starbuck O'Dwyer's comic novel, Goliath Gets Up, has been named one of two 5-star finalists in the humor category for the 2012 Indie Reader Discovery Awards.

How To Raise A Good Kid Named Finalist for ForeWord Reviews 2011 Book of the Year Award
On April 3, 2012, How To Raise A Good Kid by Starbuck O'Dwyer was named a finalist in both the humor and essay categories for the 2011 Book of the YearAwards sponsored by ForeWord Reviews. Winners will be announced on June 21, 2012 at the annual American Library Association meeting being held in Anaheim, California.

Starbuck O'Dwyer Interviewed for Susan Heim's On-Parenting Blog
In April 2012, Starbuck was interviewed by Susan Heim for her On-Parenting Blog; a site named as one of the 10 best parenting blogs on the Internet. To read the interview, please go to the following link:

Red Meat Cures Cancer Now Available Wirelessly For Amazon's Kindle Reader
Effective December 18, 2007, Red Meat Cures Cancer has been made available by Random House, in conjunction with, for wireless delivery to Amazon's Kindle, a new wireless, portable reading device. Red Meat Cures Cancer is one of the initial 90,000 titles being offered which may be auto-delivered in less than one minute to any Kindle reader without use of a computer or cables. For more information, go to

2007 One Book One Vancouver Program Selects Red Meat Cures Cancer
The Vancouver Public Library recently selected Red Meat Cures Cancer by author Starbuck O'Dwyer to be featured as part of its 2007 One Book One Vancouver program, an annual initiative designed to promote literature throughout the city of Vancouver and its surrounding area. Along with the primary title of My Year of Meats by Ruth Ozeki, O'Dwyer's book was one of eight corollary fiction titles recommended by the program to Vancouver readers.

March 2007 Issue of Midwest Homes Magazine Features Red Meat Cures Cancer
The March 2007 issue of Midwest Homes Magazine, a Minneapolis-area home and lifestyle publication, featured Starbuck O'Dwyer's Red Meat Cures Cancer as part of its front-cover article "Books That Cook." Featured in the article was a large Minneapolis-area book club that chose to read O'Dwyer's "Red Meat" and prepare a special meal of gourmet hamburgers and french fries.

Princeton University Hosts Authors Caldwell, Oates and O'Dwyer
Princeton University, in conjunction with the Princeton University Bookstore, welcomed noted authors Ian Caldwell, Joyce Carol Oates and Starbuck O'Dwyer as part of its 2004 Reunions festivities held over the Memorial Day weekend. Caldwell's Rule of Four, Oates's I Am No One You Know and O'Dwyer's Red Meat Cures Cancer were the featured works as each author gave readings and signed books for the assembled audience. Caldwell and O'Dwyer are both Princeton alumni while Oates leads Princeton's creative writing program as the Roger S. Berlind Distinguished Professor of the Humanities.

Starbuck O'Dwyer Interviewed on ESPN 2's Cold Pizza
On April 13, 2004, Starbuck O'Dwyer was interviewed on ESPN 2's Cold Pizza in the show's midtown Manhattan studio by co-host Kit Hoover. The segment focused on O'Dwyer's satiric take on the fast food industry and his novel Red Meat Cures Cancer.

Entertainment Weekly Features Red Meat Cures Cancer
Entertainment Weekly magazine, in its March 12, 2004, post-Oscar issue, featured Red Meat Cures Cancer by Starbuck O'Dwyer in its "Opening Acts," a portion of its book review section that highlights the opening words of new novels getting national attention. EW included the following from the first page of the book: "Frank Fanoflincoln, my boss, is a fat man. I'm not talking circus fat or freakish fat or the huge, if I eat three more pints of Ben and Jerry's they'll need to move a wall to get me out of my house, kind of fat. But he's working on it."

Starbucks Coffee Company Hosts Starbuck O'Dwyer
On Friday February 27, 2004, Starbucks Coffee Company hosted author Starbuck O'Dwyer at its world headquarters in Seattle, WA, as part of the company's national authors program.  Starbuck was invited by Starbucks to come read from his hit satire "Red Meat Cures Cancer" to an audience of Starbucks employees and to sign and discuss the book.

Random House Acquires Worldwide Rights to Starbuck O'Dwyer's Red Meat Cures Cancer
Random House, Inc. has acquired the worldwide rights to Starbuck O'Dwyer's novel, Red Meat Cures Cancer, via a December, 2002 auction. In addition to the North American trade and mass-market paperback rights, Random House, which will release the book as part of their Vintage Books line in February of 2004, also acquired the hardcover and paperback foreign rights to the book.

Red Meat Cures Cancer Wins Bronze for 2002 Book of the Year
Red Meat Cures Cancer, a satire by novelist Starbuck O'Dwyer, was named the bronze medal winner in the humor category for the 2002 Book of the Year Awards at BookExpo America in Los Angeles Friday, May 30th. The title was nominated in both the humor and pop culture categories by ForeWord Magazine, which recognizes excellence in publishing from independent and university presses. First, second and third place award winners in forty-seven categories were announced at a special program where luminaries from the small press community joined in celebrating the finalists and winners along with a proclamation of the $1,500 Editor's Choice Prizes in fiction and non-fiction. Last year's Editor's Choice Prize for Fiction, Peace Like a River, went on to achieve best-seller status.

Red Meat Cures Cancer Finishes Second in 2003 IPPY Awards
Starbuck O'Dwyer's critically-acclaimed novel, Red Meat Cures Cancer, has been named the runner-up co-finalist in the humor category of the 2003 Independent Publisher Book Awards, commonly known as the IPPYs. The Independent Publisher Book Awards, launched in 1996, are designed to bring increased recognition to independent, university, and small presses in North America. Awards were handed out at BookExpo America, the largest industry trade show, in Los Angeles on Friday, May 30th.

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